OFFICIAL PRESS RELEASE: NBA DRAFT CLASS WORSENS

The 2013 NBA Draft class has just hit rock bottom. 

 “The worst draft class in years” added two more potential benchwarmers this week in Andrew Hunter and Nicholas Moran. Hunter (6ft, 185) and Moran (5’9 170) have not played organized basketball since reaching puberty and bring virtually nothing to any NBA teams other than their impeccable looks, and quick wit.

Hunter (@ansonhunter) is a copywriting student at Miami Ad School (Brooklyn), and retired tour manager. Moran (@nemoran3) is a consultant and the social media editor for The Millions, a literary website.

 “Listen, we have potential to have as many career starts as (Florida Gator’s guard) Kenny Boynton,” says Moran. “I mean the dude had a great college career but is way down on the draft board.”

 Hunter and Moran cite “because we can,” “it’s completely absurd,” and “it’s an excuse to throw a party” as the reasons for entering the draft. As of now, they have no plans to work out for any NBA scouts, but “we would entertain the calls if they came with lunches, I guess,” says Hunter.

 They will in fact throw a draft party, to be held at their regular hang 7B in the East Village, and have just launched a website to celebrate their progress.

 Hunter and Moran met in college at the University of Miami (FL), and previously launched a campaign to join the much-heralded Paris Review softball team with custom baseball card resumes. This summer, the two will launch The Downtown 140, a “participatory literary quarterly­.” As of press time, Hunter is quoted as saying, “we’re working on a less pretentious way of saying that.”

 They will each employ the other as agents for the draft.

 “Obviously we don’t expect to be picked,” Moran says, “but it never hurts to try. Maybe someone will get confused. I mean if you're not wearing glasses, you could potentially misread 'Myck Kabongo' as 'Nick Moran.'”

The pair may be contacted at: wedeclare2013@gmail.com

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Draft Letter: Moran

Commissioner Stern,

My name is Nicholas Eamonn Moran and I wish to declare myself for the 2013 NBA Draft.

As a 2006 graduate of Glen Ridge High School, and as an upstanding young man who is 25 years young, I meet the requirements for eligibility.

Please forward the necessary paperwork as soon as possible so I can return it before the April 28th deadline.

A thousand smiles upon you and yours,

Nicholas Moran

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Draft Letter: Hunter

Dear Commissioner Stern,

I hope you're having a lovely spring.

I, Andrew Jonathan Hunter, hereby declare myself eligible for the 2013 NBA Draft. Please find the requisite information below. Per your request, I have sent a signed copy of this letter to the NBA offices.

Name: Andrew Jonathan Hunter

School (Year): University of Miami (Graduate)

DOB: 04/24/1987

Phone: BLOCKED OUT

Address: BLOCKED OUT

Hometown: New Orleans, LA

Thank you for your time. I look forward to shaking your hand on Draft Day.

Sincerely,

Andrew Hunter